Growth

Growth, I've found can be painfully imperceptible. It seems to be akin to watching a pot boil which local sayings say won't happen just because one is watching. But let attention be distracted and ta da! the pot boils.

We have marked the lines of growth of our boys on the walls with their names and dates of measure. It's strange to look at marks of my sons and have to look up. They've surpassed me in stature. Good for them. There is still more growth for them.

I recently entered a house being prepared for demolition and discovered, we're not the only ones that do that. It was sad to see the marks of forgotten occupants. Where were they now?

I've been noticing the growth in myself these days as well. New skills are forming, new understandings have sprouted and taken root. I've got a new motto, "live and let live." I'm always looking for new seeds to plant in my imagination to take root and sprout into ideas and ponderings.

The Humble Student

I've often thought of myself as an eternal student. Those closest to me know that isn't so. I tend to run on and on about any subject until I discover I'm out on a limb. I'm always trying to fill the teacher shoes while wearing the student persona.

My teenage son just recently reminded me, "You don't know everything." He is right. I don't. At times, I believe I know enough. At other times, I don't know enough but am confident I can discover what I need to know. And then, there are other times, I am completely without an answer. It is the answerless times that confound me and give free reign to emotion. I think I'm comfortable with calling these times... being lost. They have the feeling of being adrift at sea with no land in sight and no passing ships to call out to for help.


When I reach these moments, I'm ready to become teachable again.

Shaping a Character

When I was writing my novel, "The Touch Me Nots" I discovered I needed to create a lot of characters. I had to visualize them in every day situations. I determined what gave them meaning in life and had to install their passions and quirks so that the story flowed with their energy. I found the process to be very similar to this Dragon I carved about a year ago. I started with a piece of cherry wood a friend had given me and began to visualize the creature before making the first cut. As the work progressed things changed slightly here and there and it turned out differently than I had first imagined. I'm pleased with the end result.

My characters in my book were created very much with the same process. I just needed to discover what facets to emphasize in the story line to turn them into a hero, a villain, scary, friendly, powerful, controlled, male or female.

The interesting part of the whole process was trying to discover what influence I would have over a reader's feelings for the characters as they suspended disbelief and entered into the drama of the fictional characters. I used a focus group that would read parts of the manuscript and give me feedback. These folks were more than happy to read the story and at times, applied pressure for the next section of the book to be written.

I think it may be time for the next novel to take shape and emerge.

Living in a Virtual World

I see it everywhere. People are watching television in the doctor's office on their cell phone. They are driving down the road texting on their PDAs or Blackberries.

I watched as two people who were close enough to talk to each other are texting each other instead. What is it that makes us pour all of our attention into a device that strips the communications of all but the sense of sight and perhaps hearing? Is it the pretty colors? There is no sense of warmth. There is no hot or cold, only words that are UPPER or lower case. Emotions are communicated by emoticons. Words are recorded by clicks or taps coded into a bit stream and sent at the speed of light to a cell tower, satellite, or through a DSL cable. The other end displays the communication with beams of photons emitted by the excitations of the electrons on an liquid crystal display.

Perhaps people have been hurt by living in the real world. They are overly sensitive to the harshness of experiencing sound, touch, smell, taste and sight. People would rather buffer themselves behind digitally pixelated plasma screens. The experience of eye to eye contact has been replaced with an invitation to join someone in chat or be added to their friends list on face book or instant messenger.

Even so, it is a sign of the times. Humans adapt and adopt. Even now my son is enrolled in a "virtual academy." The classroom is in front of a computer and participation is in a chat room. Every once in a while he will meet face to face with other students. They will travel great distances for a single event to gather and introduce themselves to each other.

All the while a smattering of super computers collect and log every data bit traveling the virtual world. Who knows who is watching, reading, listening to our cybersation?

Teaching...

Today is day TWO of adventures in homeschooling. We have made some progress and today will offer a full agenda of school work for my 10th grader. My challenge is to be relevant and help my son keep his attention centered on the work at hand.

If there would be anything I would like my son to achieve it would be... to take charge of his destiny. Everything else would be icing on the cake.

December Travels...

I never know where the road may lead in a week's time. Last week is different from this week. Last week I merely repaired machines and this week not only do I repair machines but I've become a teacher.

Circumstances often necessitate change. Change often creates circumstances. It's a chicken and egg kind of relationship. This can often leave me wondering, How on earth did I get here? It's like this photo. How did they ever get those crosses on that little island? I know they used a boat end of story. Those crosses mean something. Some one started the practice of putting three crosses in deserted fields and hill sides and thought to include this little island. I have a fondness for the significance. I know these are representative of the three crosses on Golgotha. It's a reminder to all that something extremely significant happened and we should reflect on our eternal place beyond this universe. I think about how my reflection would look from the vantage point of the crosses. I worked hard to capture the right light and compose the shot. I know the creator composed all of it, I merely record it with my crude instruments. Even so, I know I'm observed even if I'm some small imperceptible dot in the forgotten regions of my galaxy. How did I get here? I drove my car here. But even that act was predicated on other events. I just need to understand that, I'm always... here. Here ... constantly changes and so do I. Therefore I will reflect the ever changing scenery of my surroundings and of my heart.

Where will I end up next week? Here, but it will be different than this week.

The Anchor

There are plenty of distractions in life that could cut me loose from my moorings and set me adrift in the sea of a stormy life. There is a wonderful relationship between that which is fluid and that which is static and solid. I've come to learn that even the foundations of the earth can be shaken and if viewed in time lapse photography can be seen to move quite easily. The static can impede the fluid and the fluid can erode the static.

I have to ask that question in my heart. What moorings are gradually moving? Are the underpinnings of what brings meaning to life still there or have they become unhinged? What does it mean to all that I have known when a new discovery results in negating the truth of an unquestionable past experience?

It's similar to "knowing" that the earth is flat and then discovering that it isn't. In order to understand the far reaching ramifications of the new understanding one must accept the idea that understanding grows over time. The problem is that we humans tend to cling or desire to cling to things that don't change. We long to live in a world that has order and when that order is disrupted we find ourselves falling down the psychological hierarchy of met needs.